Weakness
I thought I was stronger. I feel so weak that I'd like to die. I can't take anymore. I'm exhaust. I haven't studied Law or German for the last three weeks. I even didn't go to the classes or attend the church, I'm scared.
I'm not going to the CourtHouse party tomorrow, even if people are asking me all the time: "Why aren't you going to the party?" What can I say? I have to protect myself, I don't want to see how much happy they both are and how much unhappy I am! I hate it! Gosh, I'm so unhappy that I wanna die...!
I feel like shit, I would like to run away from here. What's going to happen? I wonder if there's escape to me, if there's salvation to me. I can't see a solution or an answer for my questions, I'm really in troubles.
I'd like to see a miracle, but it won't happen. Not this time. Not to me.
2 Comments:
at least you tried. You had guts to go there and check it out and to have a door slammed at your face. At least you gave yourself a shot. As for me, even this I can't do. I just don't allow myself to try. And believe me, it's much worst and much hurting and makes you feel much more shitty...
Hmmm.Dunno.I'm feeling shitty enough, I think :D But today I'm slightly better ;)
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