Changing myself

I'm listening to good songs right now, it's so good...

Oh Gosh. It's really very good to be independent. It's good to pay my own bills, to know how much money I can spend, to know how I'll waste my money. It's really good. It's a blessing from God. But it's not good to feel so lonely how I am feeling nowadays. And there are problems that I'll like to solve, but I can't.

Nowadays I'm more interested in news about economy and I don't know why. I have never been interested in this kind of news. I think I'm changing myself. Perhaps I'm getting older...but it's good to realize that I'm different now. I always WANTED to be interested in economy questions. Now I am. It's really good, is not it? My only one problem related to this question is that I can't find my favourite newspaper in my city ;D

How are you, boys? I hope you're fine...

Bad cold...

Yeah, I have a bad cold. I almost could not sleep at night. I hate being sick. Why did I have that cold water shower?? Bah. At least I am at my parents home and my mom is taking care of myself...she said: " You come here when you're sick and I have to take care of yourself now!" She was kidding, of course.

Well...everything is going fine. But I'm still thinking about buying a kitten. Or a bird, I don't know yet. What do you think?

What can I do?

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused! I don't know what to do about my life! I don't know what I must study, what I have to focus on. And I feel so lonely! Maybe I should have a pet, or something like that.

My sister has left my parents house, it sounds very weird. She is going to share a flat with a friend, a lady. And...well, she had no reason to do it. Just told us that she needed "to grow up". Weird!

And...oh, how am I feeling? I've found that I still have difficulties to join relantioships with people. I'm still this way!

I'd like to fly to far from here.

All is so strange...

Yes, I'm not the same. I feel really strange nowadays and...what's happening here? I've found strange feelings inside myself and I've found I can't control my life. My mind health. My feelings. It's so weird! I look at myself and I think: who's this girl?

Maybe I'm just growing up. Yes, I'm so sure! This girl is just growing up. And now it seems she needs 'space' to grow up. I feel like a plant that needs water, sun light and sand.

My friend has moved from that country. I wish him best of luck. He deserves to be happy, I'm sure.

This girl...

This girl was working much more than she could handle with. Beyond of that, she was studying much more than she could. So she got really tired and she's still really tired. So she just needs to rest for much time, watching some movies and doing nothing. She's thinking of lots of things, things about the future...

Her boss is really a funny person. She thinks that she's really lucky. And she wants to change her hair...maybe will she have a straight hair soon? She does not know. She's still thinking, oh gosh.

It's really weird to realize that we can't have all the things that we want to. I had lots of plans, and I was thinking of doing some things that now I realized that I won't do. I feel bored because I'm weaker than I thought before. Why am I not able to work and study hard? I know...I just wanted to have the control of my life...and we can't have the control of our lives...

I feel older. It seems that I'm 10 years older. Living far from our parents give us a new vision of the life. When I was living with my parents, I was "the daughter". Nowadays I'm not "the daughter". I'm just a girl that lives alone, by herself. If I want to have a family, I'll have to build my own one. So, in my own family, I'll be a wife and then, a mother. It's altogheter different! It's strange to notice that. I'm not the same. I'm not the same indeed.