Mad for tea

I've never realised how much I love tea 'til last Twesday. I was on Criminal Office trying to make that stupid network works when the trainee boy came in taking a cup of tea and a cup of coffe. I asked him about the flavour of the tea - he answered: "cidreira", but don't ask me to translate it: do it yourself :D and he also said me that there was tea in the kitchen. I went there feeling completely mad for the tea, but the woman informed me that it had finished (I don't know if I can use this verb in this case, and my "Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary" didn't help me that much...) Oh gosh. What a disappointment.

I went back to the Infancy Office feeling a bit frustrated, and told the trainee girl about the tea. And she's so lovely, so lovely that...on Thursday she brought a small vacuum flask with...tea. She use to take the bottle full of coffe because of Mary - Mary hates the coffe that they offer in the kitchen, but this week Mary didn't have to work, so the girl didn't take the bottle. But as I told her about the tea...she brought it for me. Isn't she adorable? And I loved it - I loved drinking some tea while I was on office. And I even said, kidding - it made her laugh: "Oh gosh, this is so English...!"

Now I'm seriously thinking about buying a small vacuum flask like hers to take tea for the office...

Happiness, ad, cancer, etc...

Mom says that I look like happier. I don't know if I feel happier. Maybe...who knows? I just know that I did one thing that I should have done much time before. In fact, I never thought that I could do that...and I'm happier just because I did. I feel free indeed.

How are you, boys? Fine...I hope. I don't hear from you all for so long... ;)

I'm almost finishing my reading: "The kite runner". Well...if you think that it could be a real story, it's awful and I hated it. It's emotionally over, I hated it. But if you think that it's just a poem, a poem about the way we are, the way we feel, the way we do...it's awfully beautiful.

-----

I'm getting older. I must care about myself, mustn't I? I never got worried with breast cancer, for example. But I'm 27 and I think it's time to do breast self-exam every month...By the way, it makes me remind a nice advertisement showed here in Brazil: a guy that lives very far from his parents prefers to travel by car for two days to visit them than travel by airplane...just because he's afraid of flying. But some years ago he had discovered a cancer in its first stage and got cured...the message: you can be afraid of many things, but if you discover a cancer in its first stage, you must not be afraid, cause you have a great possibility of being cured. But, obviously, to discover the disease in its first stage, you must care about yourself...right?

Take care, babies ;)

Update: I'm here on computer and Dad is watching N. Castle x Chelsea. But if you look at him closer...oh, he's not watching it...he's sleeping :P

From the other side of the world...

Law, law, law. I just can think about Law. And find two hours per week to study German.

I know I'm a bit absent...forgive me, you know...it's my new lifestyle, right, Ian? I really must thank you for the lovely e-mail...you're the one that showed me that you really like me...it's like Audrey Hepburn sings in "My fair lady": if you love me, show me! ;)

Jay, I'd love to be in NY to meet you and talk a bit. Or a lot hohoho.

Gosh, I'm awfully tired. And I'll have...8 hours of classes tomorrow. I wanna die. Or I just want a better job! :D

Kiss you, kids. Take care ;)

Who? Me?

Doesn't it sort of look a little bit like a kind of diva?

No.

....

PS.: Last entry I typed "000000.5", that makes no sense, instead of "0.000005", that really makes sense.

Or maybe it also makes no sense, if a nonsense girl typed it...

Let's say everything

In fact, there are some things that I should say. I'm in crisis and I don't know how much time it will take. I think I'm much more aware about myself that I've ever been before. Maybe I can't blame myself 'cause I'm an almost-28-years-old-woman that is still single and has a job that she has no passion for. Perhaps I'm innocent? I don't know. I'm just tired, you know?

Last Sunday a woman asked how old am I. Maybe you can't believe me, but I wasn't able to answer in 0.000005 second, as everybody does, because I had to stop and think to remember my age before answering! It's craziness. I had to remember that I'm 27! Why? Because if I hadn't stopped to remember, I could have said: "23." Or "24". But something inside myself made me stop, and think, and remember my real age. The woman obviously don't know the reason why I had to use more 0.000006 second to answer her question. But it scared me.

Reading "High Fidelity" made me think if I'm not a kind of Rob Fleming - without the British accent and hatred to Phil Collins, of course. I mean...I'm not the kind of woman that I'd like to be when I was 16. Actually if, at that time, somebody had told me that, 10 years later, I would be a civil servant (and a single woman), I'd rather have killed myself. What happened? Where did I bury my life? What did I make wrong? There are lots of questions that I can't answer. And...oh okay, again and again, it scaries me.

You have to agree that this is not the kind of feeling that you can just hid under your bed. Or the kind of feeling that you can pretend to forget. I don't want to forget. I want to think about it, and solve it.

Nothing

I could say lots of things.

But, actually, there's nothing that I want to say.

That thing

Today I woke up a bit depressed. Maybe I had some bad dream at night whose content I can't remember and it annoys me.

I don't have to work this week (my boss is so cute), so I'm reading Nick Hornby ("High Fidelity") and listening to Michael Bublé and they help me to enjoy being depressed - in fact, I've never realised that there's a pleasure at being depressed 'til today...maybe is this "that British thing"? Maybe this is "that human being thing". Or maybe I'm just getting older and older.

Take care. New pictures are coming soon.

Because it's Sunday

...and I'm an amazing girl.