Sweet Declarations II

Mrs. Molly Usk and Mr. Usk

Mr. Usk: We met each other for the first time in the beach. But it was not an ordinary meeting, I even had not noticed that she was there...by the way, the first feature that I noticed was that she was crying. Crying in the beach? Yes, I saw her crying so I took her from the water to the sand. I guess you won’t believe me, but she looked pretty even she was crying, can you see? I have never seen somebody that looked beautiful as crying, but she looked pretty even this way.

Mrs. Molly Usk: My love, you did not tell the reason why I was crying…

Mr. Usk: Oh, yes, you’re right! She step on a sea urchin. Can you believe? I even don’t know how she could step on a sea urchin...

Mrs: Molly Usk: So he led me to the hospital. While the physician tried to take out the thorns from my feet, he kept holding my hand and saying to me that everything would be fine, he took care of me in a sweet way...

Mr. Usk: Later I invited her to go to a restaurant to eat sea urchin so that she could take the animal revenge. She loved it. Me too. Soon she became my valentine. If we think about the event, it was not a bad thing that she step on that animal, don’t you agree, my little sweet sea urchin?

Mrs. Nee Dow and Mr. Dow

Mrs. Nee Dow: My mom always said to me to take needle and thread to all parties that I went. You know, she’s dressmaker...and she said to me that if something happened to my dress, I could repair it easily...

Mr. Dow: You know, I got a bit fat...but I just had those clothes and had no money. So I went to my cousin’s marriage wearing those clothes. While I was dancing in the party after the marriage, I was so excited and...my paints tore. At the back, you know? A big tear. I got very sad, because I was having fun and I did not want to leave the party. So my cousin told me about his bride’s friend, he said that she used to take sewing gear to parties. I thought it was a very strange habit, but my cousin was serious. As I kept waiting in the bathroom, she sewed my paints. You can’t imagine, bro, but she did a perfect work, my paints were better than before, I can’t imagine what she did, but they were not so tight like they were before. I thought it was very interesting...I was sure that she was a kind of fairy, you know? And nobody can meet a fairy every day...I invited her to dance with me and we danced all the night and...can you believe? My paints did not tear again! I found that she is really a fairy, aren’t you, my sweetheart?

Mrs. Nee Dow: My mom always said to me that I would find out my true love some day. But I could never guess that needle and thread would help me. I’ve already decided that I’ll teach our daughter how to sew...the same thing can happen to her, don’t you agree, my love?

Enchanted prince

Friend: So do you have a boyfriend?

My sister: No, I don’t. I’m still waiting for my enchanted prince. I just wish that he won't arrive here wearing that tacky t-shirt with loose sleeves and leather shoes, riding a white horse...if so, when he arrive and say to me: "My love!", I will say to him: "No, I don’t know you, please, go to home and come back wearing decent clothes..."

The fantastic world of Priscila

This time, I’ll tell you about my dad’s fantastic world. He was five and lived in a house. The house had a chicken coop. And he took a little chick to play with it. He played and played and played until he did not want to play anymore. I guess the little chick was crazy and desperate. But my dad did no realize it. And he was so happy after playing with his toy that he decided to hold on to it to play later...inside a tin. A closed tin.

Yes, my dad forgot the poor chick inside the tin. The oxygen is gone. The little ckick is dead. And it started stinking. And somebody found out what my did had done. And he was thrashed by his stepmother because of this. Later, his dad came into the house. And he was thrashed again. Poor dad...

Apart from liking to organize his toys, my dad was also a bit selfish. He got a packet of candies. He ate a lot. A lot of candies was left. And he decided to hold on to the surplus. He did not want to hold on to it into the bedroom. Somebody could find it and ate all the candies. It was better to hold on to it in the back yard. It was better to bury the candies. And he did it. Next day he looked for the candies. But the ants had found them first. And my dad could not eat any candies. Poor dad...

After these events, he learnet two lessons about animal world: little chick can die and ants loves candies.

There is another story when he did... oh, I’ll tell you it later. And, yes, my dad’s fantastic world stories are always this way: we never know if we must laugh or cry at them. Poor dad...

(The title of this serie is a tribute to the cartoon The fantastic world of Bob. But I guess Bob never killed a chick accidentally).

La vie en rose

Squish! And a poor French little roach went to the cockroaches heaven by my mom’s hands. Hands holding a flip-flop, of course. Obviously, the roach was killed because it was a French little roach. Little. Delicate. If it was big and had wings, maybe it would be still alive. Until my dad kill it…

Me: (huming La vie en rose) It was French. I guess it knew how to sing La vie en rose...

My sister: (also huming) And I guess it would open its wings this way to sing, look at me... (opening her arms)

My mom: (still angry because of the foreign roach) I wish it have sung a lot, because it won’t sing anymore.

Poor little roach. It just started its singer career and it die so young…

Perfection

__ Wait...one, two...do you have five crowns in your hair, love?

__ Yes, I do, my pretty girlfriend.

__ It’s impossible...how can anybody have five crowns in his hair?

__ Well...why not?

__ It’s not normal.

__ How can you know that?

__ I don’t know, but I bet that Darwin wrote about it....it’s the law of crowns in the hair…nobody can have more than two.

__ And how many crowns do you have?

__ Two.

__ And how can you know this? You have long hair, I can’t see your crowns...I guess you have more than two...

__ I just have two. But what I want to know is if I will enjoy having children with a partner that has five crowns in his hair. If our child will have the sum of our crowns...so she or he will have seven of them!

__ Seven is the number of perfection.

__ Really??

__ Yes, it is.

__ And who will cut our child hair? No hairdresser knows how to cut the hair of somebody that has seven crowns...they will always make mistakes and our child will be a kid with complex.

__ You can learn how to cut hair...

__ Myself??

__ Or do you prefer that our child suffer in the school?

__ Okay, I’ll learn it...

__ So does it mean you still want to be with me, even if I have five crowns in my hair?

__ What can I do? Five more two are seven, that is the number of perfection....and our child can be like me, normal, and can have just two crowns.

__ Or our kid can be crazy like me and have five crowns...

__ Or our baby can mix our features and have seven of them...

__ ...that’s the number of perfection...

__ ... I loved this Math!

At her feet

__ I still don't know what I will do...I still don't know what course I'll attend at University...

__ You must need to think about something you like a lot.

__ I do like feet.

__ What?

__ I'm crazy for feet.

__ What does 'I'm crazy for feet' mean?

__ It's this, I'm crazy for women feet.

__ Guy, you're insane.

__ I'm sure I'll find my beloved by her feet!

__ You should be shoemaker then..

__ Or shoe designer!

__ Or shoe shop assistant..

__ What did you say?

__ Shoe shop assistant...

__ My friend, you're a genius! This job is what I need!

__ What? Do you want to be shoe shop assistant?

__ And why not? I need to find my endless love! And I'll find her by her feet...I'll be shoe shop assistant! I'll serve lots of pretty and delicated little women feet, and I know that among them it will be my beloved feet!

__ Are you sure that your mom did not read a lot Cinderella story for you when you were a child?

__ It was my favorite fairy tale!

__ I guessed...moms destroy their children future...why did not she read White Snow or Rapunzell? So you could be chemical or architect...

__ I'll do everything to find my endless love! Look at that shoe shop!There I'll find my Cinderella, she has the most pretty little feet that somebody ever saw, they have delicated little fingers, heels sculpted by the Mother Nature, delicated and lovely ankle...

__ ...and she will have to have a brilliant future because she will marry a shoe shop asssitant...

__ ...adorable gait, well done nails, perfect desing, altogheter symmetrical, enchanted, beautiful by wearing whatever shoe, always shine, a splendour...

__ ...and he just wanted to choose the course he would attend at University! His future will be destroyed by a pair of feet..it will be a pair of feet, won't be? Or can she have just one leg?

__ ....enviable ,pretty in whatever situation: by wearing flip-flop, wooden mules, high heels, barefeet...

__ ....your father will not agree with this job...

__ ... photogenic, with perfum, with tatoo or not...

__ ....and I just wanted to help him!

__ ....a princess feet!

__ Did you stop speaking about feet?

__ No! I'll just stop speaking about them when I find her! With little rings or not, with dark or light polish...

...as he was very lucky (and the love is strong like the death), at that same day he found his princess with pretty feet and they were happy forever. As it happens in a fairy tale.

Sweet declarations

Declaration #1: Mr. and Mrs. Golden Fork

Mr. Golden Fork: I always loved eating a lot, but I have never thought I would meet my endless love in a restaurant. She and her brother sat down at my table because the restaurant was crowded and there were no more tables. When I saw her, you know, my heart beat so quick! She was so delicated while she was eating it, but at the same time she was so voracious…so I stopped eating – can you imagine it? Me! I stopped eating and remained looking at her. I looked like a fool, just watching her eating her meal…

Mrs. Golden Fork: It’s true, he was looking at me with so shiny eyes…he seemed so lovely, so sweet at holding that fork full of pasta…I fell in love at this same time…

Mr. Golden Fork: And I must advise people: are you single? So you must go to a crowded restaurant and sit down at a table where there are people having a lunch. Who knows? Maybe you’re lucky as myself and you can find your beloved one…

Declaration #2: Dr. Kosey and Mrs. Gloo Kosey

Dr. Kosey: She was very pale when she came into the hospital. She had tried to kill herself by eating a lot of honey. She had allergy to sugar and she was in coma because of the glucose. I was always crazy for honey...so I thought it was a sign: I could not let that girl die because of my favorite sweet! We took out the honey from her stomach, and took care about her, so she survived. We fell in love for each other then. Now she’s my little sweetheart…

Mrs. Gloo Kosey: I have never thought that the sugar could bring me the only one honey allowed for me…you’re my exclusive and allowed honey, aren’t you my sweetheart?

Genetics in real life

I have already seen this happening in a movie, but I did not know that this kind of thing happened in real life. Pretty girl. Pretty girl has a brother that has mental problems. Boys do not think she is pretty - just God knows the reason why. Boys are not interested in her because of another reason. One of the boys said: "Oh, we have to think of some things, don't you agree? She has a brother that has mental problems. I'm worried about having her like my girlfriend and after getting marry with her...I have perfect genes, and I don't want to mix my genes with her ones...if she has defective genes, these genes can be included in my future children. I don't want to take the risk of having kids with mental problems..." This boy said his opinion was the same of his friends - boys that also know her.

I was shocked. In fact, I'm still shocked. I have already knew that men and women seek healthy partners, partners that can produce a healthy offspring. It's our animal feature; we want that our genes be spread over the earth. But I always thought this feature was just instinticve and unconscious. I have never thought that somebody could say that is looking for a partner whose genes are perfect, I mean, I have never thought somebody could say it in a conscious and rational way. I have ever seen this kind of thing in a movie, but not in real life. It sounds so bizarre that we could say it's funny. I have never imagined that those boys could be so worried about the future of their offsprings. That pretty lady will surely find a partner that is not afraid of her defective genes...