A bit of craziness

Have I ever told you that I love pictures of little smiling green toads? No?? I love them! I have a little bag to put coins with the image of Keroppi, the most famous little green toad in the world. And a little bag to put brushteeth, when I have to travel to my parents house. Today I bought two things to decorate my house: two little, green, cuddly and Mexican (Ian! Ian!) toads, with those big hats, typical clothes, smiling and "playing" guitar and violin. They're over my fridge, smiling and "playing" to me: they're my newest friends ;)

I'm a bit sad today. Just a little bit.

Take care, babies.

Like Job

Hallo, babies. How are you? I am...hm...feeling like Job. Yep, that Bible story. The man that lost everything that he had and got...er...very sick. I don't know if Job was very proud. I don't know what was his problem. I just know that God had to took out everything that he had to change his life. And I feel that...sometimes God have to took out everything that we have (or we THINK we have) to change our lives. It's not a sweet experience. It doesn't have to be a sweet experience. It must be a hard experience, and you have to suffer to learn. It's not easy. It doesn't have to be easy, and you have to be strong to learn. It's not pleasant. It doesn't have to be pleasant, and you have to face it to learn. Even if you have to accept your faults. Even if you have to realise that YOU were wrong all the time. Realising that you were wrong all the time is a humble attitude. This makes all the difference. And...I think that...things just start to change itselves when you realise that. As you think you are right...don't wait for a miracle. It comes to the humble ones.

Kisses, babies.

Existencial doubts

Sometimes I look at me and think: If I wasn't myself...what kind of girl I'd think I'd be? Intelligent? Foolish? Happy? Angry? Determinated? Lazy? Smart? Silly? Beautiful? Ugly?

Well. Maybe I'd just like to know what people think of me. Or maybe...I'd just like to know who I am. And we just can find out who we are...through the eyes of the others. Am I right?

Kisses, babies.

PS: I really don't know if the adjective "existencial" exists in English :P

Waves a quick hello

Hi. Gives a shy smile. Hmmm. How am I? Surviving.

Today I watched "Notting Hill". For the second time, I think. It's my favourite silly romantic comedy. Well, you can say that "all romantic comedies are silly", okay, no worries. Do you know what's my favourite scene of this movie? The last. It shows Will and Anna, that are sitting on a chair (okay, it's not a chair, but I don't know the name of that kind of furniture, and please, let me explain my thought...), she's pregnant, is lying and have her head over his legs, and he's reading a book. They seem to be absent-minded, but their hands, that are together, show that, even absent-minded, they're close to each other. When I see this scene, I just can think that's the kind of love relationship that I want to have: calm and confident. I mean...it's obvious that couples have problems, it's obvious that sometimes they won't agree with each other and will get angry with each other. But if you can trust in the other person, if you know you're secure...so it makes all the rest easier. Storms and problems won't destroy the relantioship, because you know who you're and who the other is...and you both know that you want to keep together, even if there are troubles.

But this is just a silly thought of a silly girl that doesn't know ANYTHING about life or relantioships.

Take care, my friends...please.

Tired!

I'm tired. I'm tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Gosh, I'm so tired! I'm tired of this life, I'm tired of the loneliness, I'm tired of being myself, I'm tired! I need to change my life and I'll do it! I'm tired of being this same coward person, with the same troubles and no hope! I'm tired! I'm fed up!

I'm putting myself inside an hole and I'm buring myself alive! I'm tired! I'm tired! I want to, I need to live! And I want to start it NOW!

Not this time

Yesterday, at this right time, I was in the hospital. Yeah, I thought I'd die, but fortunately I'm still here to show how much special and wonderful I am! Special, wonderful and conceiteid, of course. I had a terrible pain on my belly, "cold fever" and I was so weak that I couldn't say "au". I really don't know what happened, I just know that people took me to the hospital, and without taking any medicine I got better. I even think that the doctor thought I was a spoiled girl that just wanted attention, because he didn't care about me. And I didn't want to, I just wanted to go away, because on my right, a little old woman was crying and on my left, a woman did the same. I went to the corridor, and Di, that was going to the "Rezeption" (I forgot the English world) told me: "Don't run away, okay?" Run away? Who? Me? I think she read my thoughts or I seem a "runner girl", because this is what I was really thinking of doing. And it would not be the first time...at the first time, I was two and told to my grandpa, that was with me in the hospital: "Grandpa, I want to go away..." Well...the doctors and the nurses must be looking for a little girl that "brook her forehead" until now...

Today I had to listen to "Are you better?" so many times, that I was thinking of putting a poster hung on my neck, written in three languages: "I'm better" :P My boss was worried and asked me if I'm feeding myself correctly, but he had to tease me and ask: "Aren't you pregnant, are you?" He's quite adorable, so said to me that I just should do the most important things and could go away. So...at the two o'clock I went away and now I'm here, at my parents' home, altogether happy and pleased, yeah!

In the end, it's good to know that, even if I'm far from my parents, there are special persons that took care about me. Mari, Flávio, Di, my boss, the landlady and her mother...quite adorable. Now I just have to tell mom and dad ("where are they?"), whom I didn't tell anything - because it's obvious that they would get worried. And they don't know that I would come here today...I didn't tell them that I wouldn't work tomorrow - it's a surprise! So I'm gonna to enjoy my "Lawyer's Day Friday" and try to relax, because I think this strange event came from some kind of stress.

Kisses, my adorable friends.

Small things

I lost my counter. Where's this damn thing...? I miss it awfully, I confess...

Well. Friday I don't need to go to job. Hurrah! It's The Lawyer's Day. Or Day of the Lawyers, I don't know. The most importante is: I'm gonna to have a day off and enjoy it...yeah!

Argh. I don't know what to write here. I think I'm a bit tired...and it's really late!

I'll be back, I think...if I find an English dictionary.

Kisses, babies.