Under control...and out of reach

I feel so lost. I'd like to find answers to my questions and to solve my troubles. But I feel so unable to do it. Maybe I don't want to find them or solve them. And so you can call me masochist...

And...yesterday I had a beautiful ballroom dancing class. My favourite monitor was there, but I didn't dance with him. He really intrigues me. I just arrived at the school, so he came to me, held my hand, executed a dance step and greeted me, kissing my cheek. If somebody asked me what I think about him, I wouldn't feel able to answer. Oh, it doesn't matter.

The world would be a better place if we could control our feelings. But we can't. And I need to learn that I can't control the world.

Love you, babies. Take care.