The worst part is...

The worst part of living alone isn't having no man to open cans and say you're awfully beautiful even you think you gained some weight. The worst part of living alone is having no man to kill...bugs! I hate, hate, hate bugs, I loathe, loathe, loathe bugs. I even have a theory: the bugs weren't created by God. It was the devil. This is the only one suitable explanation. Why would He create bugs? To feed birds. Who needs birds? Go to hell with the birds. Birds feed foxes. Chicken, at least. And who needs foxes? Go to hell with foxes! Foxes feed...oh okay, Priscila, before you destroy the food chain, let's go to the main subject.

Ah, yes. I was talking about...ah, men. The worst part of living alone is having no man to kill bugs. I always have to use that bug poison, and I really don't know how it hasn't poisoned myself yet. Last time I got really glad because I found out an enormous, terrible and scary butterfly. Not those yellow and nice butterflies, it was a night butterfly - awful and ugly. So I had to use the bug poison, and the damned butterfly fell down into the yard sink. Oh, gosh. Now I'll have to take out the corpse from out of the sink...and the other thing I hate most is having to throw away the corpse. Why couldn't it just disappear?

This week I saw enough bugs. A butterly, a little lizard are enough for me. A little lizard? Yeah, a little lizard! But a lizard isn't a bug, is a reptile. It doesn't matter - I hate it too. And I don't live in a forest, for Heaven's sake! But the lizard was there, on the yard, smiling at me and saying: "kiss me, baby". Okay, "poison me, baby" is what I did. But I guess the bloody disgraced thing didn't die, 'cause next day it wasn't there. Oh! Maybe it just disappeared...?

As you can see, having no man to kill bugs is the worst part of living alone indeed. What about saying you're awfully beautiful even if you think you gained some weight? Ah...maybe killing bugs is more needed than compliments - compliments can be fake, you know, but the bugs are real.

PS.: What about you, boys? Are you afraid of bugs? Ian, your answer is not required, 'cause I know how much you "love" bugs! ;P

PS2.: Ian, thank you for the corrections...you're a gentleman indeed :)